


Please don't take it with you

by plakband111222



Series: When it started in space [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Guards, Prison, The Ark, guard!Bellamy, hopeless love, prisoner!Clarke, skybox
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 13:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5968249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plakband111222/pseuds/plakband111222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is locked up in the sky box and has no one to talk to besides her guard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please don't take it with you

‘Have you ever loved, Bellamy?’

Clarke sighs as she plays with the chalk on the ground. Slowly she traces the white lines over and over again. She doesn’t really know what she is planning on drawing with it yet, but she can’t have this conversation while looking him in the eyes.

Bellamy shift a bit.The cold and metal hallway he is sitting in looks cold and drafty, but he never complained.

‘Uhm, yes I guess I have.’

Clarke looks up to stare at him. The bars separating them, a cold reminder that it doesn’t matter if he loves someone else. She’ll be floated in a few months anyway. Still she feels a dark jealousy creep up to her spine.

When she was little it had been her greatest wish.

Love sounded like a life on earth. full of colour, life, happiness and beauty. The thought that she would never have felt it crushed her spirits more than anything else in this cell did.

‘Have you?’ Bellamy asked quietly, like he wasn’t completely sure it was an appropriate question to ask. Clarke lowered her head to look back at her chalk work. The lines had become dark, sad and mystical trees, the dept in them unreachable.

‘No.’ She whispered.

‘What about your parents? When I used to look at you, walking around on the ark, you always looked like you had everything, like you loved everything around you.’

He chuckled, probably remembering something about her from a time when she was still free. wel, she had never been free, but just not locked up in this tiny room, with nobody to talk to but her strangely compelling guard.

‘No, I mean, I’ve always had my parents, but they both loved their jobs more than they did me. They both chose the ark above me. My mom by never, ever being at home, always in the medical ward or in counsel meetings. And my dad, well, he to, was never at home and he died trying to save the ark. Because that was more important than me.’

‘But,’ Bellamy interrupted her ‘To save the ark ment also to save you, you are part of the ark.’

‘Yes I know’ Clarke sighed, discreetly wiping off a tear he was not able to see. ’But still, I never felt it with them. I always thought Wells loved me once, but I never did him. And in the end, he never did me, he, he. Well you know what he did.’

Bellamy nodded. Wells had tried to visit her once. He even got a special license that was incredibly hard to get, and must have cost a spaceship of ration points to get. Just so he was allowed to go in to the solitary confinement wing of the sky box. The moment Clarke had seen him walking towards her, she had flipped out completely, screaming, yelling en crying how it was all his fault, that she was happy that she would never have to she his face again and that he could rot in hell for all she cared. Wells left with a look so broken on his face that got to have a Clarke hysteric episode that wasn’t pretty.

It had been her first two months in solitary and she was’t taking it well, so when Wells was so hurt while he was the one to betray her, Clarke just couldn’t handle it anymore. After he had left she suddenly couldn’t breathe anymore. She was crying and yelling and struggling to break out of her own body. She somewhere stopped breathing and fell to the ground. Only she never reached the ground, because before she could, the cell was opened and big strong arms surrounded her.

Catching her from falling and whispering sweet nothings in her ear to calm her down. At some point Bellamy had asked what Wells had done to get her so worked up about it, because surly he wasn’t worth it. 

‘What happend to her? Your love. What was the reason that you had to let her go?’ Clarke suddenly asked.

Bellamy looked confused ‘What do you mean with ‘my love’?’

‘You just said that you loved. And I know that your dad is out of the picture and that you blame your mother for a lot of things, I mean, I know you haven’t told me everything, but you have told me a lot. I know you don’t have a girlfriend.’

Ever since the day Wells came by, they would talk. Where he used to just sit next to the doorway on the far end of the hallway where she couldn’t even see him sitting when she tried to look behind her open bars, now he went and sat down excactly against the wall across her cell. While there were more solitary cells, she was the only one there, meaning nobody could hear them. From that moment on, they talked about everything they could think of, going from their daily life on the ark to what real rain must have felt like.

He never went inside her cell again though. Always keeping the distance of the old iron bars between them.

Bellamy chuckled again, but a hint of pain flashed through his eyes. ‘She, well, it’s just that..’ he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, clearly struggling to find the right words.

‘I love two girls, one that will always be with me, no matter how much I want to set her free, and one that will never be with me because she, she…, she is all that I will ever need, but never for me to get.’

‘Do they love you in return?’ Clarke asked.

‘One does, I’m sure of it. But I don’t know if she has any choice in the matter. And the other one, in my dreams she does. In my dreams we would find a place we could be together, a place where nobody could find us, where we would make love, and laugh and cook and eat and have fifteen children together.’

She laughed and picked the forgotten piece of chalk up in her hand playing with it nervously between her hands ‘You should go get her. You know, the second one.’

Clarke looked up at Bellamy who was staring at her intently.

‘I wish I could.’ He answered after a few seconds. Not being able to hold his gaze for any longer Clarke looked away, and glanced over the interior of her cell, which was only a bed with dirty old rags meant as bed linnen. The walls, once plain and gray now decorated with the images she just couldn’t get out of her head. There was so much that she still wanted te see but knew she never would. So she decided to draw them, draw the pictures that she dreamed it would be like.

‘I have a bucket list’ She finally offered.

‘A Bucket list?’

Clarke sighed ‘Yeah, my bucket list. I once read it in a book we have at home. It is a list you make with all the things you want to do before you die. What you want to do more than anything in the universe. So then the goal is to have them all done before you die. That way you know you did it all and never forgot what is truly important. That you have been truly happy.’

‘So what is on yours, princes?’

‘I once made a whole list; I wanted to go to earth, I wanted to swim in the ocean, I wanted my own family, see a miracle, be in two places at once, get a tattoo, be who I truly am, although I don’t even know who that is, I wanted children, as in more than one, I wanted to climb a mountain, make changes, help somebody, have a puppy but most of all, I wanted to love, and be loved for in my mind I love was they greatest good you could ever get.’

The loud drop of her tear disturbed the silence of their breathing that had lasted for a while when she was done talking. ‘I have never been able to accomplish any of them. I knew some them I would never be able to, but still I have accomplished nothing. When I’m floated I will be forgotten within a day. And there is nothing I can do about that now.

‘Don’t be like me Bellamy, trust me when I say you don’t want to be like me. Please go after her. When you wish you can, that means you can go after her. Nothing is worse that never have that love at all. What is the worst that could happen.’

Bellamy angrily wiped a tear away himself and moved to stand in front of her door.

‘She could steal my heart and then take it with her when she gets floated. Make me stand there and watch her get floated with me knowing there is nothing I could do about it. I don’t know if they thought you this during you’d med internship, but a person can’t live without his heart.’

‘what..’ Clarke gaped up at Bellamy who was holding one of the bars to her cell and looking down upon her. He looked so angry. ‘Are you talking about me?’ clarke slowly got up as well making her eye, to eye with Bellamy again.

But he wasn’t looking at her, still staring at the ground. ‘Of course I am talking about you Clarke, you are my best friend, my reason to get out of bed everyday, the prospect of just talking with you light my day. When I’m not working, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t talk, with you always in my thoughts. I hate you to you know. Knowing that you are gonna leave me behind in a few months. You are just gonna leave, and leave me behind to pick up the pieces of a broken heart’

‘Bellamy, look at me.’ She grabbed the hand he was holding her bars with. Shocked from the touch of her hand he looked up at her. Besides that one time that he held her, they never touched. It was a wonderful feeling.

‘What?’ He grumbled.

‘Open my door.’ Clarke whispered.

he sighed ‘You know I can’t’

‘Yes you can’ she interrupted him ‘The keys are right there on your belt. You did it that one time.’

Bellamy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand ‘You are gonna make me lose it all aren’t you?’

Clarke chuckled and grabbed his hand a bit tighter. ‘No Bellamy, I’m going to give you all that I have. Now open the damm door.’

Bellamy gasped at her words and without braking his stare on her face he slowly unchained the keys from his belt to open the door.

The moment Clarke heard the door unlock, she pushed against the door and within a step she pushed her body in to Bellamy’s ‘Now kiss me you big oaf’

A small laugh left his lips before he grabbed her with one arm across her back and the other one at the back of her head to bring hers closer to his ‘It doesn’t matter now does it.’ he whispered against her lips. ‘you already have my heart. Got it the moment I first saw you helping that kid in that hallway. I couldn’t protect my heart against you even if I had tried to from the beginning.’

He pushed his face closer to hers and kissed her with all that he had. On that moment, they gave each other all that they had to give. Which was nothing more than all that they where.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you liked it !


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